Ounced Now with no hands!

Drunk Drivers

I took a road trip by myself to Arkansas back in October. The drive was fine, but there was something I noticed. Once I hit New Mexico or Texas, hell I don’t remember they all look the same at 3am in the morning, I noticed neat little signs that kinda warmed my heart:

Report Drunk Drivers Call 911.

I was dumbfounded. I had no idea I could be the law for a few minutes and report asshat drunk drivers. Knowing that these states encourage drivers to police for inebriated drivers made me feel a little safer. That was until I remembered that my own home state didn’t have these signs.

Of all the states, California should have been the one to have these up in the first place. With so many fucking retards in this state and on the road, you would have thought that some tightwad would have pushed for a measure to put these signs up a long time ago. But alas, at that time, California didn’t have any of these signs up.

Until recently. Just in the past 2 weeks I noticed blue little signs pop up, and guess what they say.

Report Drunk Drivers Call 911.

THANK FUCKING GOD. Okay, so yes, really anyone could have done this without having the signs up. Putting the signs up wasn’t the CHP giving us ‘permission’ to call, its just them reminding us that we do have the power. We too can help them out and rid the road of those judementally-challenged. Now I do have to give CHP a little credit, I can’t yell too much, I mean they did occasionally light up the marquees above select freeways reminding us to call in drunk drivers. But that was usually only during holidays. I’m sorry CHP, but drunk drivers don’t need holidays to be fucktards. Try harder.

And they did. I applaud them.

Though, I didn’t alway feel so strongly about drunk drivers. I will willingly admit I’ve driven distances (some greater than 50 miles) when I shouldn’t have been. I have no excuse. There are none when you drive drunk. But after a close friend of mine disclosed a personal tragedy to me, and his opinion on the issue, I felt guilty about my past behavior and mirrored my convictions to his on this issue. And being in the car a few times with drunk friends (who swore up and down they were ‘fine’) only enforced my stance and had me reevaluate who my friends really wore and where my respect for them lay. I might end up being a bitch to them, but it’s my ass on the line along with others when a friend says they are okay to drive even though they had several beers and smoked some weed as well. No, I’m not getting in the car with you. Period.

I’ve noticed that my new stance has given people the wrong impression of me. I will not touch a single alcoholic drink if I know I’m driving later. The only way I could is if I drink one drink 4 hours before I hit the road. A weak drink. Oh but people at parties will have none of this. “Oz, have a drink! Oh come on, you can crash here! Just another!” No thank you, I do not want to crash on your crusty couch with year old Cheetos in the cushions. I’m fine with one drink, I don’t need to get slaughtered to enjoy myself. This doesn’t make me a hard ass bitch who can’t party, because trust me, I could probably out-drink you.

So yeah, these new convictions only elevated my relief when I saw the new Report Drunk Drivers signs. You damn well bet your ass I’ll call them in. In fact about 5 weeks ago I did. The asshat was all over the lane and couldn’t pick a speed. So I called 911 and reported him. When you call in you give them the license plate number, location and what kind of car. After that I dunno what they do, but I feel a little better knowing I tried to do something. You can report anonymously, and I plan to do so. I infact will do it to friends that I know are out. Hell even if I’m out with them. We could be in the same bar and if I see them getting behind the wheel you bet your ass my thumbs are already pounding out 911 to report their sorry ass. I don’t care who you are, I’m not letting you get behind the wheel drunk.

So to all the readers, don’t be afraid to call anyone in. If you have the slightest suspicion of ANYONE on the road, please report them. If you were wrong thats okay, CHP will not go after you. They won’t call you, you won’t get ticketed or anything. Its better to be safe than sorry.

I wonder if that’ll work from a cell phone. Thankfully, I’m not on the freeways that often, but the other weekend when I came home at 2:30, there were abundant boozers on the road.

I just kept my hands on the wheel, put plenty of space between me and everyone else, and made it home in one piece.

@apollo: It worked. And you made me think of something. Whats safer, a driver dialing 911 on his cell phone to report a drunk driver, or a drunk driver?

Anyways, I encourage you to dial in anytime you get a suspicion.

[...] Of all the states, California should have been the one to have these up in the first place. With so many fucking retards in this state and on the road, you would have thought that some tightwad would … [Read More] [...]

I’ve seen them to, especially on 325 going towards Bishop, CA. I’m honestly glad to see them (although when I saw a written breakdown of what they want to know - make, model, color and license plate number - I doubted my ability to do it).

From what I’ve seen you’re excellent about not driving while inebriated. Also I hope no one took my just learning to drive as an indication that I was drunk…granted I’ve yet to be pulled over so I suppose my driving isn’t that bad.

[...] Did you call them in? [...]