In the red.
When stuck in traffic, you think about traffic a lot, and who the fucker is that had to total his car in the middle of your commute. As you slink your way through the traffic, brake smash after brake smash your train wreck seeking eyes only come to disappointment to find no car crash at the end of your traffic jam, no broken head lights, no bodies strewn across the road, and no crazy ass fire show. So what caused this jam? Several things.
Merging traffic.
Exiting traffic.
A itty bitty slight fucking curve.
Or some idiot that likes to get close and personal with his brake pedal.
He likes to caress his pedal with a loving touch. Never lets it go, keeps it nice and close, sweet loving hugs. He’s the fucker that keeps on his brake pedal and then in turn causes other monkeys to be come reaqquainted with their left (or middle if you’re a stick shifting fiend) pedal. Its a domino effect. Monkey see, monkey do. And this continues to ripple down the flow of cars down 580, resulting in stoppage 5 miles back, and making my 20 minute commute turn into a 40 minute hair pulling extravaganza.
HEY FUCKERS! Lay off the brakes! You see someone slowing down, get off the gas first, use your judgment (which I guess is asking for way too much) and apply brakes when nessesary. I bet you, I BET YOU that just letting up off the gas will slow you down enough and then the yahoo in front of you will start going again. And see since you didn’t press down on your brake pedal the idgit behind you didn’t either, thus, preventing traffic jams. Well, some of them anyway.
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